Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Janet's fantasy Wimbledon

Janet's Fantasy Wimbledon 


Well this wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. The difficulty was between having my hated ones out in the first round, or having them destroyed by my favourites in latter rounds..
Anyway, here is what I came up with.

Day   1

Defending champion Novak Djokovic gets off to a fantastic start with a 6-0 6-0 6-0 win over the unseeded Italian, Fabio Fognini.


Day 10
Women’s semi finals
SF 1 was due to be played between Ana Ivanovic and Maria Sharapova. However, Ivanovic won through a walkover, as Sharapova failed to appear for the match.  This cannot be confirmed, but rumours suggest she was attending a fashion show as the key attraction, and simply forgot she was due to play in the Wimbledon SF

SF 2 V. Azarenka d. S Williams 6-4, 6-2  Williams was never really in this match mentally or physically. She was no match for Azarenka’s superb winners, and too pften displayed what has become all too familiar, aggression, disputing several points with the Umpire. Throughout this she forfeited a total of 10 points, as deducted by the umpire for her violations. 

Day 11
First Men’s Semi Final. Result Novak Djokovic d. R. Federer 6-2 6-1 6-0
This was a very exciting semi final, for many reasons. First of all, those who thought Novak couldn’t possibly play any better than we have seen him play here the last 10 days were wrong! We saw Novak play one of the best matches of his life, surpassing anything we saw from him in 2011, taking out the 6 times champion in straight sets. 
A record was set here – this was the first time in a GS Semi Final, that the losing semi finalist has won no points on his opponent’s serve, throughout the whole match    
We also saw a more unpleasant side of Federer, that has now forever dispelled the belief of some that he is the ultimate Sportsman and gentleman.  After serving his 16th DF, Federer appeared to lose control of his faculties, and furiously ran over to the TV crews and began smashing their cameras with his racket, much to the shock of the crowd.
Federer will be deducted 10000 points by the ATP for unsportsmanlike conduct, and the Police are currently persuing charges of Criminal Damage against him


Day 12

Women’s singles final
This was a very very high quality final with amazing play coming from both women. Something else to be said about this final is that it was played in the best spirit every experienced in a Wimbledon final, with both women displaying very sporting behaviour throughout.
However, it was Ana Ivanovic who triumphed in the end 3-6, 7-5 12-10 in what is described to be the best and most enjoyable Womens GS final of the modern era.

Day 13

Men’s Singles Final. Result Novak Djokovic d. R. Nadal 6-0 6-0 6-0

Anybody who thought that the results of RG, Rome and Monte Carlo were the start of a turn around between Novak and Nadal appear to have been very much mistaken.   If we can say one thing for sure about those results, it is that we did not see the real Novak in these matches. However, it also appears we did not see the real Novak in 2011 either. Today we saw Novak Version 3, and many are already stating THIS is the real Novak, and this is just the beginning of him
Things did not go Nadal’s way from the start. Despite the very strict dress code of all white enforced by the All England cup, Nadal appeared on court in a bright pink top, with green and yellow spots, with bright blue shorts with red stripes.  He was subsequently ordered by the chair umpire to change, and was immediately fined one game for violation of dress-code
After that it was downhill all the way for Nadal. There was just no getting past the out of this world serving and winners played by Novak.  And by this point his coach “Uncle Toni” clearly believed Nadal needed help, so risking a lot he began to coach Nadal from the box, by very clearly shouting instructions to him, much to the crowds’ disapproval
Soon the weather changed, the air began to feel damp.  Worried, no doubt,  that this would further impact his performance, Nadal then launched a verbal attack on the umpire shouting that he refused to play in such conditions, and if the umpire did not stop the match immediately he was would walk off the court.
The Umpire dismissed this behaviour, and subsequently fined Nadal another 2 games. After this, Nadal failed to win a single point more, resulting in the only grand slam final where the losing player has failed to take a single game.
The final nail in the coffin for Nadal in this strange final, was that he too has been fined 10000 points by the ATP for unsportsmanlike conduct.  This will result in a world ranking of 513, placing him between Fritz Wolmarans and Evgeny Korolev, whose names are likely to be unfamiliar to even many avid tennis fans.
On a more positive side Novak retained this trophy through sheer outstanding play, and despite the antics on the other side of the net, did not once lose his cool, raise any protests, proving himself and not any of his contemporaries to be the true gentleman and sportsman, not to mention the undisputed King of Wimbledon.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

10 reasons I hate Andy "Cry - Baby" Murray - Janet

1.  As the name suggests, he is a Cry Baby

2. He is so bad, he sometimes doesn't know why he lost e.g. this years 3rd round loss in IW to Garcia-Lopez these were his exact words

3. He has some kind of identity crisis.. Oh am I British? am I English? or I am Scottish? Or do I just pick and chose and change my nationality to suit the circumstances

4. He said he oped Nole would not complete the Nole slam

5. He always looks like he has been sleeping rough on the streets.

6. He dresses like a duck

7.  As the #4, he has a duty to challenge Fedevil for the #3, but he is hopeless so has no chance

8.  He swears too much on court. (I know Nole does, but a) we can't understand him swearing in Serbain, and b) Nole can do what he likes ;-)))  )

9. After beating Nole in this years Dubai (a reason to dislike him in istself) he then played pitifully against
Fedevil in the final, and so let Fedevil steal Nole's ship

10. He is friends with Nole and so gets to spend time with him.. Grrrr....  

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

25 reasons which make us proud to be Nole's fans and not Rafastitious'

1. Nole's still no. 1 :-)))))))


2. He's better than Rafa in anyway (except for topspin which makes Rafa win on clay all the time).


3. He's more exciting to watch than Rafa


4. He's hotter :-)))

5. He has much better English


6. He is more charismatic :-)

7. He has a better sense of humour


8. He doesn't have lunatic relatives i.e Uncle Toni! 

9. He doesn't pick his but!

10. He doesn't put the trophies in his mouth like a baby!

11. He doesn't a girly hair-cut

12. He doesn't dress like a clown

13. He is much more gracious in both victory and defeat :-))

14. He speaks more languages


15. He is individual and doesn't go for the big money deals with Nike :)

16. He's not a cheater!!!

17. He's not a cry-baby ;-)

18. His status as one of the GOAT isn't reliant on one surface...

19. He doesn't moan and shout when there is a spot of rain, lol


20. His hair doesn't look like it's covered in grease

21. He doesn't grunt like an angry ball :-P 

22. He doesn't "play with himself" in front of millions on live TV during the Australian open final speeches ;-) 

23. He isn't a trash-talker

24. He doesn't model underwear 

25. He's not superstitious! ;-) LOL

P.S. Me and Janet worked on it together :)

Top 15 things me and Janet hate about Fedevil

1. The finger wagging

2. The smug face

3. The arrogance

4. The greed

5. The sore-loser behavior

6. The mind-games

7. The excuses

8. The c'mon/allez
 
9. The racquet swirling before returning

10. The nails blowing like he just had a manicure and the hair stroking in tense moments



11.  Telling Nole's family to be Quiet

12. The 1980's haircut

13.  The devil- like eyes and eyebrows

14.  For every time he has beaten Nole, particularly last year's RG SF

15. The complete lack of respect or recognition for any other player  

Introduction

Hello friends,

This blog is for us, Nole fans with a sense if humor who don't like Fedevil/Fediva, Rafasticious, Cry-Baby-Murray and anyone else who does anything to hurt or offended our boy. It's a private, secret and exclusive blog so don't tell anyone, this is truly our oasis, a place to feel free. I welcome all of you to write here in the future too and I just need to find out how it works. 

Enjoy! :)


P.S. We will NOT tolerate Nole haters here. Understood?